Odd Internet Purchases


With the internet becoming more accessible and the ability to start a business becoming more simple, you can find some crazy stuff in its depths.  We stumbled across one such item, them continued down the rabbit hole of oddities one can purchase online.  From the bizarre, to the creepy, to the “I would buy several and give one to all of my friends,” we’ve compiled a short list of internet goods that left us asking “Wait, you can actually buy that online?”


Warning:  Some of the following products might not be family friendly and/or gross.  Proceed with caution


Grow Your Weapon

First on our list is a product that we thought was a prank, after a little research we found that they actually are in production and for sale, and they’re expensive.  What are we talking about?  Grass knuckles.  No, you read that right.

Made by HAF and carrying a price tag of $917.00, you won’t be seeing these in your hood anytime soon.  They are described as “a clash of jewelry and gardening; couture and organism.”  It literally is a tiny planter in the shape of brass knuckles.  If that isn’t useless enough, don’t worry, there’s more.


This Delivery Stinks

Now, ask yourself, what is the grossest thing that could show up at your door step?  How about poop?

With prices ranging from $12.95-$23.95 (not including shipping) you can order feces to be hand delivered to the house of your choice.  Still not convinced this is the buy for you?  What if I told you there is a wide variety of animals whose excrement to choose from?  From cow to gorilla and even elephant, this is possibly the worst gift you could ever give your loved ones.  Interested?  You can get some here.


1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Do you love the modern convenience of cell phones, but hate that they are so easy to use?  Well, have we got the product for you!  For about $10 you can get a headset for your phone that looks and feels just like a 1990’s phone (curly cord included).

You might be asking yourself “why?” good question…we don’t have a clue either.  I guess some might find it useful in a home setting or for long conversations, but then again, isn’t that what a home phone is for?  The attachment comes in 6 colors and plugs into all 3.5mm jacks.  Interested?  You can pick it up here.


Become James Bond

Who doesn’t love that dapper martini sipping secret agent?  What is the best part of any Bond flick?  The gadgets.  Now, for $89.99 you can have a 007-esque gadget for yourself, one that I would probably accidentally kill myself with.  We’re talking about cufflinks that are also working lighters.

I can’t really think of a scenario where these would be required, except maybe you are tied to a chair with rope and waiting for your impending doom at the hands of a maniac, but I have to admit they’re pretty cool.  Please, if you are using these for a light take them off your shirt first.  It may be cool, but if left on your sleeve things will get pretty hot.


Recycling Adds Flavor

We were hesitant to include this, but it was too absurd not to.  We’ve saved the best of the worst for last, and boy, is it a doozie.  Have you ever been drinking a glass of milk and thinking that it needs added “subtle flavors” and a “clean finish?”  If you have (c’mon really?) and you’re willing to buy milk by the mouthful, we have found the product for you.  White Power Milk.

From its apparently racist name you might draw several conclusions about what this is, but I’ll run through it quickly so you can have the full “wtf” effect.  What you are buying is milk.  Cow’s milk…that has been gargled for “purification” by 1 of 6 women then rebottled and shipped to you for consumption.

Prices run from $100 to $125, and can only be bought in quantities of ½ ounce or 2 ounces…yeah, its not our cup of tea either.


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